Storytime with the Smurf – By Smurfy

In this segment you the reader will get a chance to mail in questions to Smurfy. She will take those questions, and respond with the most ridiculous answers imaginable. “It is my belief that laughter is everything – so, why not share a little silliness with others along the way?” – Smurf

Please send all questions to Smurfy’s pm.

(Please note: Revo does not necessarily agree with the words and opinions of Smurfy. In fact, we reserve the right to deny association with her at all.)

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Question Submitted by Lexie

Why do hot flashes come at 2am?

Response by Smurf

Like most things women go through, the patriarchy has demanded from the gods that women be tortured even after they stop having aunt flow visit. It is unfortunate that the male gender has chosen to beg the gods for another form of torture towards the female gender, but here we are. Why they happen at 2am, is because it was a specific request from one such dude, we’ll call him Frank – who begged the gods that his wife  give him oral in the middle of the night, unfortunately, her refusal ended in a curse for all women everywhere. So, the moral of the story is – you should just get on your knees when a man asks you to. 

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Question Submitted by Xams

Do you believe in Big foot?

Why yes, I had him over to the house just last week. He drank tea, and ate crumpets. We discussed the theory of evolution. He believes that he evolved from a human, and is the superior species. I of course believed him, because that guy knows his shit. He dazzled me with commentary on Shakespeare’s works, but got a little snotty when we had a heated debate on climate change. He also pooped behind my couch. That guy was a hoot! I doubt that stain will ever come out.